Comfort and Joy

Five for Friday

2012-02-17T06:00:00.000-06:00

1. Days like I have had this week make me wish for a bigger house. 1000 square feet is pretty small when there are 4 of you. Austin is supposed to be napping in my bedroom because the boys can't nap together and I can hear him everyday when he is supposed to be napping. I am trying not to let it bother me but it drives me crazy. Our bedrooms share a door so I have to go in there numerous times to tell him to be quiet so he doesn't wake his brother. I wish I could stick him on the other side of the house where I didn't have to worry about him waking Miller or I wish he would nap. A girl can wish!

2. I love Adele! I love that she rocked it at the Grammy's.
She totally deserves it. I love listening to her while cooking dinner and trying to relax (hard when there are 2 little munchkins running wild during the witching hour but it definitely helps tune them out a little). A new band my husband introduced me to is The Civil Wars.

They too are pretty incredible. My new favorite thing is Pandora with either Adele or Civil Wars Station on.

3. We are going skiing with some friends in a couple weeks and we are super excited. I hope I can remember how to ski. Its been a while. Hoping its like riding a bike.

4. I have been very sad about Forrest lately. I think now when the waves of sadness and grief hit me it feels like a punch in the gut. Over 4 years have passed since he left us but there are moments where I feel like it was yesterday. Our church had a precious ceremony on Sunday where they presented the first graders with their first bible. The child picked the person who has been most instrumental in their Christian walk and that is the person who presented the bible to them. It was such a sweet time and I immediately thought of how Forrest would have been our first to receive his bible. I envisioned David giving the bible to Forrest and I just lost it. I really can't explain it except to refer to my quote of feeling like you have lost a limb. Most days you live life normally with one less limb but then at times you realize the limb is gone and life is harder without it. I miss him so much. I saw this quote and was reminded of the beauty that has come from his life and legacy.

Source: hosannainthehighest.tumblr.com via Brittany on Pinterest

5. On the note of blessed things we have had some incredible volunteers head up new projects for the Forrest Spence Fund. These volunteers are such a blessing to the Fund and I am so excited about the new programs we have started at Le Bonheur because of them.

Our friend Cozy has started making these precious Kimono's for the babies in the NICU. They work perfectly because they velcro around all the tubes.

Aren't they the cutest things? The staff at Le Bonheur loved them and can't wait for the babies to wear them. They will be such a blessing to the babies and parents.

Our friend Holly has headed up the Unit Appreciation program for the Fund. Each month we are picking 1 or 2 units to appreciate at Le Bonheur and let them know how much we appreciate them. Holly just delivered the first months goody bags to the Cardiac Units. We picked the CVICU and Cardiac Floor because February is Heart Awareness month. Holly did a GREAT job on the goody bags and the staff wrote thanking me for such a precious gift.
The poem below says:
Hearts are Red,
Sometimes families are 'Blue'
Thank you for the uplifting
& loving things that you do!
-The Forrest Spence Fund.

Holly came up with that...so perfect!

Any advice on what to do with my no napping kid to keep him quiet so his brother can sleep?

Valentine's Day

2012-02-16T12:48:00.000-06:00

We had a great Valentine's Day. The boys received balloons and homemade fruit snacks (which tasted terrible). I found the pin on pinterest and thought I would give it a shot but she didn't put that they taste terrible.

At the beginning of February the boys and I created a Valentine box to put notes and special things in until Valentine's. This was a big hit with Austin. One of his biggest love languages is affirmation so he loved seeing what was written about him/for him each day. Miller liked it too but not as much as Austin. I haven't quite figured out his love language yet. =)

The balloons were a big hit though. I look at them as the gift that keeps on giving because my boys will play with these for days.

Miller woke up earlier than Austin from his nap so we had a little quality time together.
My sweet husband came home from work, took the boys with him to the grocery store, and then came home to cook me a delicious dinner. I think him taking the boys to the grocery store for 20 minutes of quiet was the best gift. I read by myself and it was perfect. The dinner was delicious as well. I have always said that if David had more free time I think he could be a great cook. He unfortunately doesn't have any free time.

David's valentine gift was homemade banana pudding. This is his favorite dessert so he loved it. We are also celebrating this Saturday night with a date out.

I felt very blessed this Valentine's Day to be surrounded by 3 boys who love me.

weekend review

2012-02-14T09:30:00.001-06:00

We had a fun and lazy last few days. It was exactly what we needed.

On Friday our friend Stephanie hosted a Valentine's playdate. The boys love being with their friends and I love hanging out with the momma's. It was a great way to start a weekend.

There are obviously a lot of boys in our play group. Most playdates include a lot of wrestling, running, and tackling. We have to say, "gentle", at least 50 times.
Here is the newest member of our little friends group. Sweet Poppy. She is so precious and so fun to have a little girl in the mix.

I am getting nervous that we are about to be in the stage where Miller takes his diaper off. I often find him pulling his diaper down and almost off. This is during dinner on Friday night.

Yes, he's standing in his chair and not sitting in his highchair. This is also a new thing that is driving me crazy. Its very hard to eat dinner with a 19 month old in your lap.

That night we took a bath and got in our pj's early so we could read more books. I love seeing the boys clean and in their pj's. I also love seeing them play and read together. Austin loves reading books to Miller so here is reading his plane book to him.
Saturday was a lazy day. It started to snow that morning so the boys decided to just stay in and eat breakfast instead of go to the donut shop. I went running with my girlfriends. When I got home I changed back into my pj's and we all just took it easy. We watched a movie, painted, and played with playdoh.

I also found Miller searching for a snack a few times that day. This is one of his favorite places to play. He loves to turn the light on and off in the fridge.

On Sunday we went to church, out to lunch, home for naps, and then had some friends over for dinner. In the middle of dinner our neighbors above us knocked on our door. Our water heater had busted and was flooding the basement. Mind you this was the coldest day. That morning it was 18 when we went to church. David had to turn the heat off so our water was C-O-L-D! I mean freezing cold. Just washing my face was brutal. Our landlord called the plumber and we got a brand new water heater Monday morning.

Our Monday mornings include music class which we love. Both boys have such a love for music so this has been a great addition to our lives. They love our teacher Michael and all the fun things he is teaching us. This first picture is during lullaby time. The boys get a pillow and he plays a lullaby on his guitar.

Austin's buddy William is taking the class with us. This is them playing with the rope and singing and dancing.

Monday afternoon was spent inside playing with playdoh again and throwing the balls. It has been cold here lately so we are having to come up with fun things to do inside.

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you! Hope your day is filled with lots of love!

Five for Friday

2012-02-10T07:00:00.000-06:00

1. A few comments were left on the blog about me running 8.5 miles with my children...are you crazy?!? I can't run 8.5 miles with my kids!
#1: I'm not strong enough to push them that far.
#2: They wouldn't last that long in the stroller.
We have done a little over 4 before and by the end everyone was trying to jump out of the stroller.

2. I love this necklace. I don't love the price but I love the necklace. I have been looking for a pendant necklace for a while and haven't found one that is just right. Hoping I can find one a little (actually a lot) cheaper.

Source: maxandchloe.com via Brittany on Pinterest

3. I love being a boy mommy. I mean really love being a boy mommy. I would love a little girl one day but I am content being a boy mommy. If we only have boys than I am ok with that. This quote made me smile thinking about being a boy mommy.

Source: Uploaded by user via Brittany on Pinterest

4. How do you explain motherhood. It is wonderful...it is hard...it is selfless...it is rewarding. I have to ask for forgiveness numerous times a day for hurting them with my words. One of my favorite things Austin says to me is "You are my special mommy, you are the most special mommy in the world". He also tells me "I don't like you. You are not in charge". Often those 2 sayings can come within 5 minutes of each other. Motherhood is hard but so worth it.

Some favorite quotes about motherhood.

Source: Uploaded by user via Brittany on Pinterest

5. Today is the 10th. The 10th is hard for me. Forrest was born on September 10th. In the first year of your baby's life, you are always telling people how old they are in months. That first year he was gone the 10th would hit me like a ton of bricks. I wasn't counting how many months old he was, instead I was counting how long he had been gone. I still get a little choked up when I glance at a calendar and see its the 10th. Time has helped but I still miss him everyday and the 10th is just another reminder of how much I miss him.

Source: sawdustcityllc.com via Brittany on Pinterest

Katie update...

2012-02-09T09:30:00.001-06:00

Thank you for praying for my sweet friend Katie. This is the most recent update that Katie wrote:

After much prayer and research we have finally made a decision and have a plan. We have scheduled surgery on March 6th with Dr. Reid Thompson at Vanderbilt. We are expecting an 8 hour craniotomy and 5 to 7 days in the hospital post-op. We are expecting 4 to 6 weeks of rehabilitation following surgery. We hope and pray that the whole tumor will be removed. If not, radiation could follow my recovery. Of course there are numerous risks, so we come to you all... our prayer warriors... and ask that you storm the gates of heaven! We thank you for your prayers!!!

-Please pray for Katie-pray for peace and a calm heart

-Pray for her doctor (Dr. Reid Thompson) and all the staff doing the operation.

-Pray for her husband Jeremy

-Pray for her children Charlie and Hattie Grace. Both of them have been sick for the last 3 weeks with numerous things. Please pray for them to get better and for the sicknesses to stay away.

-Pray for her parents who are helping with the kids and house while they are going through this.

Thank you dear friends for praying for my sweet friend. I know how much prayer meant to David and I as we struggled with the loss of Forrest. We felt the prayers of people all over the world and now its our turn to make sure Katie feels our prayers.

a lot of this and that...

2012-02-07T19:03:00.000-06:00

We had a busy but fun weekend. On Friday I took the boys to the Children's Museum where we once again spent a lot of time in the tool area. The boys love wearing the goggles and aprons while "cutting" things.

Saturday morning I ran 8 miles with my 3 friends who are also training for the 1/2 marathon with me. This is the second weekend to do a long run with someone else and it's the way to go. Running long runs by yourself is for the birds. I love running with friends. It makes it go by super fast. This picture was taken after the 8 miles.
After the run David and I took the boys to the Aquarium. I love going there but don't love going by myself. Its dark inside so you can see the fish well but I don't like it because I often can't see my 2 kids. I love going with David because its man on man instead of playing defense. We had a lot of fun watching the sea lions outside. They were all sleeping and man did my boys try to wake them up. I don't think the sea lions appreciated it.

Sunday David and I went on a date to the Celtics/Grizzlies basketball game. It was so fun...fun to be alone with my husband in the middle of the day...fun to be at a basketball game...fun to see our home team (Memphis) play our other home team (Boston). We had a great time and are so thankful to our friends JP and Tiffany for watching the boys for us.

JP is Miller's new favorite person (that is JP on the right...not a great picture of either guy...sorry)

That night we had some friends over for the Super Bowl. We are sad the Patriots lost but it was still fun to watch the game with friends. Austin loved that we were having his friends over. He has become quite the social butterfly (I wonder where he gets that from).
Austin playing with his friend Sebastian and sweet Miller giving Remi some of his toys. He loves to help with the babies.

We changed the boys into their pj's in the den so we could keep watching the game and we were obviously watching the game closer than we were watching Miller when all of a sudden, he picked up David's beer and proceeded to take a sip and pour it all over himself. He was laying down so it went in his eyes, mouth, ears, and all over his pj's. I was so worried that he was going to be drunk but the friends that saw it reassured me that he didn't get much in his mouth. He did wake up numerous times that night which is very unusual for him. I think his eyes were burning from the beer in them. Lesson learned, do not keep your beer anywhere near the little guy. He's into everything.

The next morning he entertained himself with daddy's boots.

And that night he entertained himself with a bucket on his head and played the drum with it.

Disregard the terrible singing on the video. Just watch the cute little guy dancing with a bucket on his head.

It was a fun, busy, and memorable weekend.

Five for Friday

2012-02-03T06:00:00.000-06:00

Trying to bring Five for Friday back...

1. I am still running. I ran 8.5 miles last weekend and plan on running 8-9 tomorrow. The unfortunate thing is I have gained weight running. Are you kidding?!? Aren't you supposed to lose weight? I think its because I eat like a cow when I come home from these long runs so I am trying to eat better now as well. The quote below has helped me continue on this running journey even though I currently do not see a change.

Source: thinspirationinagoodway.tumblr.com via Ashley on Pinterest

The picture below is what I see at the end of my run. One way I get the boys to cooperate during my runs is by letting them "run" at the end. Yesterday Austin stopped to stretch before he ran. I was literally laughing out loud.

2. I love the relationship my 2 boys share. There are definite fights, tears, and some hitting (mainly by Miller...we are working on this) but overall they adore each other. Miller does everything his big brother does. I mean everything. He wants to be just like him. I found them the other day just playing in the hall next to each other. It made my heart smile.

3. I think I have lost some brain cells. I had a lunch date planned this past Tuesday that I literally just forgot. Like it didn't cross my mind. I was across the street at Starbucks working on some stuff when an email from my friend popped up asking if everything was ok. By this point she was already home from eating by herself across the street. I feel terrible. I think I need a new system to remember things.

4. On my quest to eat healthier I made this granola I ate at my friend Candace's house. It is delicious.
Top off your Fat Free Greek yogurt with some of this and you will thank me. Here is Candace's recipe below (I think it came from Katie Harris).
Katie Harris' granola
***Set the oven at 350 degrees

4 c. rolled old-fashioned oats
2 c. sweetened, shredded coconut
2 c. Sliced almonds
1 1/2 c. dried cherries sliced
1/2 c. vegetable oil
1/3 c. honey
2 tsp. ground cinnamon
(my additions)
A good splash of vanilla extract (about a tsp.) & even a little more almond extract (1 1/2 tsp), a dash of apple pie spice and a dash of nutmeg.

I just mix it all up and pour it on 2 lightly oiled sheet pans...to make sure it doesn't stick and cooks evenly. I let it bake for 10 minutes, turn it and then watch it for about 5-8 minutes. It's a fine line between lightly browned and burnt because of the honey and cherries (both taste burnt, if it bakes too long), so I wouldn't cook it another full 10 minutes after flipping it.
(FYI: I didn't have apple pie spice or almond extract so I didn't add those and mine was still good).

5. We watched the Help last weekend. I know...we are way behind but I did read the book so I knew what everyone was buzzing about. I just loved it. Even David thought it was good. I love this quote!

Source: spoonfulpb.wordpress.com via Julie on Pinterest

I also thought this was hilarious. I totally believe it. I know Austin asks at least that many.

Source: Uploaded by user via Cozy on Pinterest

Happy Friday! Enjoy your day and weekend!

the rest of Memphis

2012-02-01T07:00:00.000-06:00

Friday morning we headed to Austin's interview for preschool. I know...if you aren't from Memphis than its hard to imagine that he has to interview for a preschool. I'm laughing as I write it but its true. 3 year olds have to interview to get in to certain preschools. I was nervous about it because he often freezes up in situations like that but he did great...or that's what he told me. He went with the teacher just fine, played and talked for 30 minutes with 5 other kids, and then ran back to me and jumped in my arms telling me he loved it. That little comment just cost us some money. I want my boys to love school and the excitement in his voice solidified that if he gets in, we will enroll him. It's a precious school and one that I think we would stay through 6th grade so I am hopeful that he will get in. If he doesn't, than it wasn't the Lord's plan for him and we will be fine with that as well.

After the interview we had lunch with some friends and enjoyed playing with their precious 2 children. Melody was one of Forrest's nurses his first few days at Le Bonheur and I instantly loved her. We have stayed friends since and I love that we now have kids growing up together. She too lost her first child so she understands the deep grief that goes with that. I am very thankful for her. I unfortunately took no pictures of our playdate.

That afternoon we waited on Gigi and Sadie to show up. Talk about excitement. It was my mom's birthday on that Sunday so we were super excited to celebrate with her. We were also super thrilled to see Sadie again. We debated back and forth on whether my mom should bring her to Memphis for fear of her acting out when she returned to my moms but finally decided it would be good for everyone. Austin was having a really hard time missing David so I thought Sadie would be the perfect pick me up and she was for sure! They had the best time together. The pictures below will show the beautiful relationship these 2 share.
We spent lots of time that weekend relaxing,
having fun with Gigi,

getting into mischief,

and loving on Sadie.

We were so sad to see my mom and Sadie leave. My in-laws had left on Saturday for a trip so that just left the boys and I for the next 3 days by ourselves.

That evening we were having some of my small group girls over so the boys and I went to the grocery store to get a few things.

The small group girls came over and it was so much fun. Just like old times. Austin was in his element...having the attention of so many girls. He was doing somersaults on the floor and entertaining them with his stories.

Miller on the other hand was in constant amazement. He just watched the girls without making a noise. It was hilarious. He didn't do any of his normal funny things. I think he was overwhelmed...I understand..I'm often overwhelmed by them too. =)
We woke up Monday morning and drove 45 minutes to my best friends house. She just moved to Hernando, MS which is just on the other side of Memphis. It was so wonderful to see her. Such a treat that when we move back we will live only 45 minutes from each other. Bobbie has been my best friend since I was 14. We lived together for one summer during college (the craziest, scariest summer of my life...that is another blogpost in itself) and haven't lived close since. She moved to California right after her first baby was born for her husband. He was in the army and was stationed there for a few years. She then moved back to Hendersonville for the last few years. She is one of the strongest people I know. She raised her children practically alone as her husband did 3 oversee tours. Each tour was a year or more. There are few people in the world that truly know you and love you the way she does me. I am so blessed by her friendship. The picture below is with her youngest, Charley. Her oldest, Tucker, was at school that day. Austin still talks about Mrs. Bobbie and Charley!

We drove home for naps and then after naps went to another friends house for a playdate. It was so great to catch up with the Thompsons (no pictures again). Grace was so sweet to offer us dinner and we gladly took her up on it. It was pretty chaotic with 5 children 5 and under but a lot of fun. The kids loved being together. Austin doesn't remember a lot of friends from Memphis but he definitely remembers Bo (one of the Thompson kids) so he loved being there to play with him. Miller loved seeing their black dog Cash who looks just like Sadie. He just giggled at him the whole time.

Tuesday morning I planned on packing and resting but by this point we were pretty stir crazy and had cabin fever so we went on a long run where I let them "run" at the end. It was a beautiful day so we soaked up the sun and warm weather one more time before we headed back North to the cold.
After naps we had one more playdate planned at the Brooks house. The other 2 friends Austin talks about are Whit and Thompson. They are the sons of 2 of my best friends from college. All 3 of our boys are 3 months apart so they love being together. It was so fun to see them together and made me excited about returning to Memphis this summer. All 5 of the boys ran and played their little hearts out (little Thomas bounced and crawled more than ran).
Thompson looks like he is throwing gang signs in these 2 pictures. Jennie and I were dying laughing at this. Below is Thompson, Austin, and Whit.

Jennie's youngest, Thomas. He is precious!

We definitely miss playing outside in your driveway and yard. The boys were in Heaven with all the fun toys the Brooks had.

It was great to catch up with friends and family. Like I said on the first post, it was hard but good. Between all the playdates were lots of tears, fits, and even some things thrown at mommy. If I ever doubted that our babysitter Nim is a good investment than I don't now. It is crucial that I get a break from my children and my children get a break from me. I am a better mommy when I can take time to step back and take a breathe.

Thank you to everyone who hosted us for playdates, dinners, and parties. Thanks Spence's for letting us crash your house and loving all of us so well. Thank you Mom for driving to see us and bringing Sadie. What a treat it was to spend time with you.

Memphis...we hope to see you again in 3.5 months. Hopefully we will be heading there to buy a home.

prayers please...

2012-01-31T11:09:00.001-06:00

I know I haven't finished my Memphis trip and I promise I will soon but right now I have something else on my mind. A great friend of mine from college found out 2 weeks ago that she has a large brain tumor. She is 28 years old with 2 small children. Her children are exactly 1 year younger than my 2 and also 21 months apart like my 2. Katie is a beautiful girl inside and out. Truly beautiful! I remember her vividly from college recruitment. I was recruitment chair and I fell in love with her the first time I saw her. I knew that no matter what she chose to go as a sorority that we would be friends. Fast forward 10 years and we are still close. I am so proud of her, Jeremy (her husband), and her precious family. They are glorifying the Lord through this trial and are scared but hopeful. I ask for you to please pray for Katie. Pray for the decisions that are before them in regards to the diagnosis and what to do. It is not cancer but it is so big that it must come out. She is having terrible headaches with some vomiting and eventually it will start to affect her conscience and vision. The doctors have said that she is too young to not do anything but every option has something scary that goes with it. I am asking for you to lift them up during this difficult time.

Katie and Jeremy

playing catch up

2012-01-26T14:23:00.000-06:00

I know, I know...where have I been! I have had a fun, exhausting, encouraging, tiring 2 weeks. How does that sound for a blog post? The trip to Memphis was good but also very hard. We fit a lot in over 2 weeks. I mean a lot! It was so great to see friends and family and catch up in person but it was also hard. My love language is quality time so I loved getting time with them but it never felt like enough. I had my kids with me for a lot of the time so the conversations were often interrupted so you left feeling like you only got a tiny glimpse of what was going on in their lives. It was also encouraging because I feel like right now I belong in Boston. I miss Memphis..I miss the people in Memphis but I know I am supposed to be here right now. Supporting my husband, raising my children, experiencing the Northeast and learning more about myself and my family along the way. We were in Memphis at exactly the 1/2 way point of living in Boston. 6.5 months living in Boston and 6.5 months left. In one way it felt like we had just left and in others it felt like we have been gone for a while. David wasn't able to come so 2 weeks away from the one you love and your childrens hero was hard. There were lots of tears shed over missing him (from all of us). I heard numerous times when Austin was being disciplined that he missed daddy...I told him I also missed daddy...and Nim...our babysitter. =) I don't mean to be Debby downer because it really was great to see the ones we love but I am just being real. Traveling with 2 children 3 and under by yourself is hard. Living at someone elses house for 2 weeks is hard. Missing your better half for 2 weeks is hard. But seeing your best friends is great. Staying with family that you and your children adore is great. Seeing your mother and dog is great. That is why its hard to say the 2 weeks were just wonderful. They were wonderful...but they were also hard. We Facetimed with my inlaws last night (who are out of town visiting family) and from seeing me on Facetime they commented that I looked tired. When people can tell from a video chat that you are tired, you know you look tired.

So, how do you sum up 2 weeks in a blogpost...I don't know but I am going to try.

I spent a few days working at Le Bonheur on a mock video for the Parent Mentor program. I never knew it was so hard to be an actress =). We spent 8 hours over 2 days for six 5 minute videos. I think majority of the do overs were my fault. Hoping they turn out ok. The videos are for training of new parent mentors and for funding for the future.

After Le Bonheur the first Thursday I headed over to the FedEx House to help with the Forrest Spence Fund dinner. It was so great to be back and see how great Donna is doing with the dinners. So many families are blessed by these dinners. I was super thrilled because a few of my high school girls came to serve as well. I loved serving these families alongside some of my favorite girls.
That Friday we had a playdate at Mari Elliot's house. I finally got to meet her beautiful baby girl Carnes. I didn't take any pictures because I was busy talking and hanging out with friends. A few other friends dropped by as well.

That afternoon my sister in law and her kids came in town for the weekend. We were so excited to have them. I didn't take any pictures during this time either because poor Olivia came down with a terrible stomach bug. Poor thing was sick all Friday night. I went running the next morning before the kids were up so I didn't even know she had been sick. My MIL called and asked if I was coming home soon because they needed reinforcements. I picked up the kids and we headed to Gibson's Donuts.

I was almost positive we were all going to get the stomach bug but praise the lord...we didn't. I still can't believe we dodged that bullet. No one else got the bug. Both of Anne's other 2 had 1 time they got sick but we don't think that was even the bug. I am amazed we all stayed well.

On Monday we headed to the zoo. My mother in law is the interim director of education at the zoo so we decided to see where she worked and visit the zoo. We went a lot when we lived in Memphis but I don't think Austin remembers any of it. He was amazed at everything. It was like he was seeing the animals for the first time. It was really fun to watch.
On Monday night we met my high school girls at our favorite Mexican restaurant, Las Delicias. The girls were so good with the boys. It was like I had 5 full time babysitters. It was awesome.

When we were driving home Austin talked to David on the phone and told him everything the girls did with him. It was really cute.

I also got to see my best friend Halley who is pregnant with twins!!! She didn't want her picture taken because she has been feeling rough. Poor thing has been put through the ringer with sickness.
Yes, I did take a picture of her belly. I wanted to see if she's showing yet. I am so excited about these babies...like over the moon excited. They are due on my birthday...woo hoo! They will probably come sooner but still really cool that their due date was my birthday. We are going to be sooo close. I truly can't wait to meet these precious 2!
Neely, one of the high school girls wanted her belly in the picture too.
Tuesday and Wednesday we did bible study, more Le Bonheur stuff, lunch with a friend, and Austin had a day at the airport with Dingdad. On Thursday we had a playdate at Candace's house. She has 3 precious children all close to the same age as my 2. Everyone had so much fun.

This has been a long post and we still have almost a week to go. I will do the rest of our time on the next post. Stay tuned...

lack of posts...

2012-01-15T23:36:00.000-06:00

Sorry about the lack of posts. I post a long, heartfelt post and then just disappear for a week. Sorry about that. I have been busy with my little rugrats. We survived the flight...hallelujah, praise the Lord! I fly alone quite a bit with my 2 little guys but it still makes me nervous. There are so many things that could go wrong and they often do. =) This time it was actually in our favor. We got to the airport at 7:00 for an 8:30 flight. We made it through security which is a feat in itself. I counted the amount of bins I use just for the 3 of us...6...we us 6 bins for myself and 2 small people to get through security. That is a lot of stuff.

We take our time walking through the airport because we were in no hurry, go to our gate, check in, get our ticket for our curb check, and then walk down to the kids play area since we had an hour until takeoff. Everything was going smoothly and then I receive a 1-800 phone call. I pick up and it says Delta has important news and its letting me know that...click. It hangs up before they can tell me the important news. I stare at my phone trying to figure out what just happened when I then check my email and see a message from Delta. I immediately open it to find that my flight has been rebooked. I grab the stroller, start running down the terminal with 2 sad kids because I made them abrubtly leave the play area and run to the check-in desk. At that moment I hear over the loud speaker my name being called. I run up to the desk and they tell me that I have been rebooked. By this time I have Miller in my arms flailing about and Austin asking me 1000 questions. I look at the woman and tell her there is no way they are rebooking me...does she see me and all that this entails. She tells me she's sorry and to please move to the rebooking area. I go with tears in my eyes already defeated when the clerk tells me she is rebooking me on a direct flight to Memphis!!! We were supposed to have a layover in Atlanta for an hour but because our flight from Boston was delayed we wouldn't make our flight from Atlanta to Memphis so they were booking us direct. It was music to my ears!

It did require that I hang out in the Boston airport with my 2 munchkins for 3.5 hours but it was so much better than flying 3 hours, getting all our stuff off the plane, waiting for 1 hour in Atlanta, boarding a new flight and flying again for 1 hour. Even waiting an additional 2 hours in Boston still had us land 20 minutes before our original flight. We spent A LOT of time at the Boston Airport play area. I am so thankful for this little area.

This next picture makes it look like my flight was a breeze with 2 little boys that sat together and watched movies...that lasted for 5 minutes. It was a great 5 minutes but it was only 5 minutes. The rest of the time was spent entertaining my 18 month old and counting down the minutes until we landed.
Did you know you can fit an adult and 2 small children in an airplane bathroom? It was tight but we did it...a lot. Austin announced to those sitting close to us that mommy drank Starbucks so she has to pee a lot. Miller also blessed me with 2 lovely diapers. Oh the joys of flying with 2 small ones.

We have enjoyed the first few days of being in Memphis and look forward to the rest of our time. We miss daddy terribly and FaceTime with him often. He is one loved man and sorely missed by his fan club. We will continue to enjoy Gibson's donuts, quality time together, and seeing old friends.

Be back soon with more of our Memphis adventures.

How to love someone who has a lost a child..

2012-01-09T12:45:00.001-06:00

My precious friend Ashley just experienced the tragic loss of her cousin and the other day we were talking about how to show her aunt how much she loved her and it got me thinking about how we can help others who have lost a child. If it hadn't been for my experience with Forrest than I would never have done these things. I was that person that either tried to say the "right" thing or didn't say anything at all. Not anymore. I always ask about peoples loved ones because I know how much it means to me. I hope this list can help others know how to love their friends during a difficult time. I wrote it with the intentions that it was for someone who lost a child but I think a lot of it could work for anyone who has a lost a loved one. I know not everyone grieves the same so this list may not be for everyone but these are some things I have observed over the last 4 years. Feel free to add something to the comment section if you think it would help others.

Pray for him or her. There is nothing more important than praying for them. Pray for their marriage, pray for their other children, pray for peace, pray for hope, just pray for them.

Write notes, often. Each time I received a handwritten note it meant so much to me. It showed me they still cared, they were taken time to show me they cared, and it brightened my day. David and I would race each other to the mailbox to see what came that day. It was such a joy to receive heartfelt notes from others.

Send emails, FB messages, text messages, call them. Pursue them even though they may not reciprocate for a while. This will show them they are important to you and you are not giving up on them.

Give them time to be silent for a while. I feel like these next two things are going to sound like they are contradicting each other but it takes time to emerge again and for a while all they can do is get out of bed (if they are doing that). Check in on them but don’t pressure them to do anything more than just breathe. Some days its hard to do even that.

Continue to ask them to do things even if they tell you no 15 times in a row. Don’t give up on them. After you have given them some time to be silent then start asking them to do things again. They will feel like they are drowning and knowing that people are still pursuing them will help them to eventually emerge from the dark waters they are in. They will want to eventually join the world so just knowing there are things to go to will help them get back to life.

Organize meals. Meals were brought to us every day at the hospital. Every single night a warm, delicious meal was brought to us. On weekends we even had lunch and dinner brought to us because hospital food is expensive and honestly not the tastiest. This was a huge blessing. I have heard of others having a cooler on the back porch and meals being dropped in it so the family didn’t have to talk to people if they didn’t want to. Meals are something you can’t imagine doing when you are grieving so terribly.

Stock the fridge with easy food to prepare for snacks, breakfast, etc. I had no desire to go to the grocery store and see people so it was so nice when people would do it for me.

Resist the urge to say anything positive. For example, “If he had lived, he would have had a lot of disabilities and that would have been so hard so its probably better that he is in Heaven” or "Well, at least they are in a better place" This is not something you want to hear. You know your loved one is in a better place but honestly; you want them here with you. Be honest. Say things like, “This sucks” “I am so sorry” or even “I don’t’ know what to say but I hurt with you”. Anything is better than trying to say the right thing because honestly there is nothing right to say.

Don’t feel like you have to say something spiritual whenever you see or talk to them. For example, “Lean on the Lord” or quote scripture to them. At least for me I wasn’t just leaning on the Lord, I was falling on him. I knew all the scripture people would write me and I appreciated it but as I said above, just be honest and don’t feel like you have to be spiritual with them.

Don’t ignore what happened and not say something at all. Even 4 years later I love to talk about him. He was my son and such a huge part of me. I love when people bring him up and tell me about the impact he made. I think people are afraid that if they bring it up it will make us sad but we think about him/her all the time and it’s nice to hear others talk about him too. I don’t want people to forget my son.

If they have other children than offer to help with them. Take the sibling out for the day and give them a day that is about them only. The sibling is hurting too so it’s nice to give them something special just for them. It also gives the parents time for themselves where they can openly express their feelings without worrying what the siblings will think.

Offer to help them with housework, yard work, fix the car, any kind of work! One of the best things was when others cleaned my house. I didn’t have the energy to do it but I love having a clean house (who doesn’t) so it was such a blessing. We had many who helped clean our house and do yard work during Forrest’s hospitalization and afterwards. If you live far away than you could even hire a cleaning service to clean the house.

Remember special anniversaries. The child’s birthday and their coming home day. There is nothing more special than knowing others remember him and haven’t forgotten. Sweet friends of mine have done lots of things on his anniversary. Bought a bush that blooms every year in the Fall (around his birthday), sent cupcakes when we lived out of town, sent lots of cards, gave me a massage, etc. Even just a note saying you remember and are praying for them is so appreciated. I am so touched by those that reach out to me on his anniversary days.

Just last week David and I received a letter in the mail with a picture of Forrest's name written in the sand at a beach in Australia. A lady there lost her own child and now writes the names of children who have died too young in the sand. My precious friend Jaime had her write Forrest's name. This was such a special gift to receive in the mail out of the blue. We love it! Thank you Jaime!

Five for Friday

2012-01-06T07:00:00.000-06:00

1. We are leaving for Memphis in 5 days!!! I am so excited to see friends and family. Its been too long since we have been there. Sad to be leaving David though. He can't get off work so its just me flying solo with the boys. Any prayers would be greatly appreciated.

2. I signed up for a half marathon! What?!? I know, crazy. I said I needed motivation to run through this cold winter up here so there's my motivation. 3 other girlfriends from Boston are running it with me. Tomorrow we are doing our first long run together. So thankful to have other girls to keep me accountable to running. I am also thankful for the beauty I see when I run in Boston...

3. I adore my senior girls back home in Memphis. I miss them so much and wish I wasn't missing their senior year. I saw this on Pinterest and immediately thought of them (and myself too). I pray they will always know that God didn't mess up when He created them. They are perfect just the way they are.

4. I have a budding artist in my midst. He received an art easel from his grandparents and loves to paint. He has made some masterpieces. =)
5. Very thankful for the indoor playspace we found at a local mall. This is going to be a huge blessing this winter.

Happy Friday! Anything you want to add to the list?

Christmas part 2...

2012-01-05T07:00:00.000-06:00

*Lots of pictures mainly for family. You are warned. =)

Christmas morning started how sweet...eating coffee cake and monkey bread together, David reading the Christmas story out of the Jesus Storybook Bible, getting ready to open gifts when all of a sudden...bam...Miller threw up (a few times). We have no idea where it came from or what happened...we were so worried that he had the stomach bug but after he got it out of his system, he was fine. We cleaned him, the floor, and some of the presents up and then started opening gifts. He had to take off his reindeer pj's because of getting sick on them so thats why his attire is a bright orange shirt with camo pants. Daddy picked that out.

There were so many gifts. Our sweet boys were so blessed by our wonderful family near and far. They really outdid themselves this year. Austin LOVED every minute of it and really enjoyed opening gifts. He was so precious because he would get so excited after every gift was opened. Miller enjoyed it too. There is nothing more special than seeing Christmas through the eyes of a child.

There were lots of trucks and Thomas the train stuff...
a crazy NYC monkey from Uncle Toph
some new plates and placemats

Superhero capes made by mommy

new backpacks for all 3 of my boys
a cookbook from our favorite bakery in Boston
lots of new books

new boots for all of us

lots of musical instruments
Jewelry, gift cards, ornaments, a beautiful frame and a few other things were given as well. It really was so wonderful.

By the end of the day, we were tuckered out.
All the boys (young and old) took naps while Gigi and I worked on Christmas dinner.

The next day we spent lots of time playing with our new toys.

Poor Uncle Toph and Gigi were awoken every morning by these 2 little rascals often playing one of their musical instruments.

On the 27th Uncle Toph headed back to NYC. We were so sad to see him and Rico go. The boys LOVED having both of them here.
After Uncle Toph left mom and I took the boys to the Children's Museum. It was her first time to go. She was very impressed with the museum but it was crazy busy. I guess everyone decided to go since it was Christmas break. We were ready to leave after only an hour.
We also did a little painting with the boys.

and Gigi played horse with them.

David and I enjoyed 2 date nights. One night we met up with friends at a new BBQ restaurant in town. It's definitely not Memphis BBQ but it was still good. One of the chefs from Top Chef opened it. The second night was New Years Eve. I made reservations a little late so the only one I could get was 6:00. This was fine by me because it meant getting a break from dinner, baths, and bedtime routine. Its nice every once in a while to get a break from that. We ate dinner and then decided to go to a movie...I know, kinda lame on NYE but David and I loved it. We love movies but only go if family is in town to watch the boys so it was a treat for us.

Mom left on New Years Day and we were very sad to see her go. It was a wonderful trip with lots of great memories made.

2012...going to be a great year

2012-01-03T07:00:00.000-06:00

2011 has come and gone and now its time to look ahead. David and I went to dinner on New Years Eve and spent time discussing all that has happened this past year and what is going to happen this coming year.

1. We will experience a New England Winter
2. Buy a new home in Memphis
3. Say goodbye to precious friends we have made in Boston
4. Move home to Memphis
5. David will finish all his medical training and start his practice
6. Austin will start school
7. Miller will start a Mothers Day Out Program
8. I will return to my volunteer work at Le Bonheur

and that is just the things we know for sure are going to happen. You never know what the Lord has planned. Woo...I am just tired thinking about all of it. We are truly thrilled though with the many blessings God has given us and the adventures that await us in 2012. I'm not making a lot of New Years Resolutions because I know there is enough going on to just keep up but I do want to strive to be a better wife, mom, friend, sister, daughter, and christian woman. I want my life to glorify the Lord in all I do.

The Spence family wishes each of you a wonderful and blessed 2012.

2011-Year in Review

2011-12-31T18:56:00.000-06:00

2011 was an eventful year for the Spence family. I wanted to do a review of some of the big events that happened this past year.

January:
Austin moved to a big boy bed

and it snowed in Memphis. Austin wasn't a big fan of the snow. Could be a potential problem for living in Boston. =)

February:
Miller's precious personality started to shine through

Austin grew into his role as big brother beautifully
March:
Life was very busy with 2 little ones

April:
We celebrated Easter.

May:
I flew to Boston to find our new home

Miller got tubes in his ears and
we said goodbye to our beloved home.
June:
David graduated from Residency

We celebrated with good friends
Miller turned 1

July:
We had a few parties to say goodbye to all our friends
Moved to Boston

Vacationed at Martha's Vineyard

and explored our new city

August:
Celebrated the Forrest Sibling Playroom Grand Opening
Put on the 4th Annual Forrest Spence 5k

September:
Celebrated the life of my precious first born by making cupcakes

Took some wonderful trips
Celebrated my precious second borns birthday

October:
Enjoyed a wonderful week with my mom and brother

Celebrated Halloween

November:
Finished up swim lessons and started soccer

Enjoyed a week at Thanksgiving with Yaya and Dingdad
December:
Took a wonderful trip to Orlando

Took a wonderful trip to NYC

Celebrated Christmas

What a year! So thankful for the many blessings we have been given. Looking forward to 2012!

Five for Friday

2011-12-30T13:49:00.002-06:00

1. Thanks to Pinterest the boys made a precious piece of artwork.

2. So excited because 3 of my best friends from college are coming to visit in March. One already booked her flight so it means its official! Woo hoo...can't wait to show them Beantown!
3. The boys have loved having Gigi here...they are going to be super sad when she leaves. They enjoy riding her like a horse...pretty amazing grandma =)

4. If you haven't noticed...I love Pinterest! It is the best site for creative ideas. Just recently I have started adding pins with hilarious sayings. Here are some of my favorites.

I am terrible at punctuation so this made me laugh outloud.

We love Modern Family and Phil Dunphy!
5. Tonight and tomorrow night I am going on a date with my hottie! Thank goodness for grandma's who want to babysit. This saying sums up my feelings for my sweetheart.

Happy Friday homies!

Christmas Adventures part 1

2011-12-29T19:53:00.000-06:00

My mom flew into town last Thursday night so we headed to the mall on Friday morning to see Santa.
We did a lot of "talking" Santa up to Austin so he would be willing to sit on his lap. He finally said he wouldn't sit on his lap but would sit next to him.

Austin loved seeing him but Miller didn't. He was pretty scared of the big guy. He finally warmed up after a little while. Austin told Santa that he wanted a Buzz Lightyear Rescue Man...this was the first time I had heard him ask for this but he continued to ask for it throughout the day so Uncle Toph to the rescue. He went to Toys R Us in NYC at 2:30 am after he got off work and then brought it with him the next day.

As a treat for seeing Santa they gave out Ghirardelli chocolate...not sure if this is the best thing to give little kids as you can see with Miller below.
That afternoon we made Gingerbread houses. We ran out of supplies so we had to make do with what I had on hand so Austin's house is both white and chocolate icing but they really had fun making them.

Miller consumed more candy than he put on his house. They were both on a major sugar high that evening and didn't want to eat dinner. Note to self...may want to make Gingerbread Houses in the morning next year.

Austin loved having Gigi read one of his favorite books, Mortimer's Christmas Manger.
Miller loved playing with Uncle Toph.

Christmas Eve we baked reindeer cookies for Santa and
a birthday cake for Jesus.
We finished our Advent Series. Austin loved doing this at night.
We made a rudolph craft and one little guy loved wearing it around.

The other little guy loved it for about 5 seconds.
Uncle Toph loved wearing it around as well. =)
We left cookies and milk out for Santa...
and made some food for Santa's reindeer and sprinkled it on our sidewalk.

Uncle Toph and Gigi helped dress the boys in their reindeer pj's and then read some stories before we tucked them in for the night.
Christmas Day post to follow...

Rejoice!

2011-12-25T12:20:00.001-06:00

Merry Christmas!

Five for Friday

2011-12-23T13:26:00.000-06:00

1. Woo hoo...my mom is here!!! My brother comes in town tomorrow. We are missing the rest of our family though.

2. Loving the excitement in my boys eyes as we prepare for Christmas.

3. Thankful for precious friends in Boston.

4. Loving 1:30 when my mail comes...Christmas time is the best!

5. Looking forward to celebrating Baby Jesus Birthday.

remembering...

2011-12-22T07:39:00.000-06:00

As I was looking at our tree last night I was comforted by the special ornaments on our tree in memory of our little guy.

Socks he wore while he was at Le Bonheur that a sweet friend sewed together for our tree.
A friend remembering our special angel the following year.

Grandma's giving ornaments so he would have a special spot on the tree.

We miss him so much and holidays are hard but we are so thankful for the reminder...
"Joy to the World...

the Lord has come."

One day the Lord will come again and we will be reunited with our precious firstborn. I can't wait to lay my eyes on him when that day comes but for now I have been called to be here with my other loved ones and love and serve them with my whole heart. Some days its hard but I am thankful for the sweet reminders on our tree that he is a part of us everyday.

rest of NYC

2011-12-20T14:37:00.000-06:00

*Post below updated. Forgot to add a few pictures from our trip.

On Monday morning we woke up ready to face the day...a little weary from the long night before but both boys were in good spirits and Miller was feeling better so we decided to do one more thing before we caught our train. We packed up, caught a cab, and headed to my brother's to drop off our bags.

We played with Rico (his dog) for a little while and then walked back to Times Square. It was so much nicer because it was much less crowded and about 10 degrees warmer. We walked directly to Toys R Us because we were on a mission...to ride the Ferris Wheel inside Toys R Us.

Austin had seen it the day before but the line was so long that we couldn't ride it. We promised him we would come back and ride it the next day. As we were waiting in line we saw what we thought was going to be our car come around...
and were a little concerned but thankfully the girl in front of us wanted the My Little Pony car and not the mega blocks truck one. We ended up with the one the boys wanted so it worked out great.
My sweet brother ran from floor to floor snapping pictures of us.
We then walked back to Uncle Toph's place, grabbed our bags, caught a cab, and headed for Penn Station. It was a little overwhelming because your track doesn't show up on the board until 10 minutes before the train pulls in and then once it stops, it only stops for maybe 5 minutes. We were flying to make sure we all made it on the train and got the seats we wanted. The trip back was great. The boys were really good, especially since it was during nap time for both of them. We pulled into Back Bay in Boston at 4:45, were home by 5:15, and the boys were in bed asleep by 6:10. Austin didn't even want books read to him because he said he was too tired.

We had a wonderful trip and another great memory with my precious family. I don't know if I will do NYC with small children again but I plan on making a return trip by myself this Spring to visit with my brother. =)

New York City

2011-12-20T11:38:00.000-06:00

*Updated post.

This past weekend our family took the Amtrak train to New York City. I have wanted to go to NYC at Christmas time as long as I can remember. When we found out we were moving to Boston I immediately told David we were taking a trip to NYC in December. My oldest brother lives there so it made visiting NYC even more exciting. Christoph started making plans and we got more and more excited about visiting. Our good friends from residency, the Benners, are living there for a year as Rodney completes his Fellowship so we stayed with them. They were so hospitable to us and we had the best time visiting with their family during naptime and after the kids went down at night. (I am so sad that I never got a picture of all 5 of the kids together).

We took the train on Saturday morning and arrived around lunchtime. After driving and flying places, I would take the train anyday. It was so easy and nice. No security, no long lines, comfortable seats with plenty of room, cafe car filled with good food close by. Traveling by train is the way to go. Of course Austin loved it. He loves his trains!

My brother met us at Penn Station and helped us get our stuff to the Benners. We then headed to Grand Central Station where there was a train exhibit. Uncle Toph knew that the boys would love seeing all the trains and he was right. They loved it.
You can see their little faces looking through the glass in the background.
Uncle Toph then picked them up so they could see better.
We then headed towards Bryant Park, Macy's, and Old Navy because I lost their hats and mittens on the train so we had to buy new ones. We unfortunately couldn't find mittens so my kids wore socks on their hands. =) I just wanted to see Macy's decorated for Christmas. We didn't plan on shopping because it was crazy.

We then grabbed a quick dinner and headed back to the Benners because the boys were exhausted. They didn't have a nap so they were ready for bed.

We woke up on Sunday and it was freezing. 24 degrees when we started walking towards 5th Avenue. The boys were really cold so it we couldn't spend a lot of time walking around outside. We walked to the Park Plaza Hotel which was decorated beautifully and then headed to FAO Schwartz. I LOVE this toy store. It is so great. It was so crowded but still fun. The boys loved playing with the toys and seeing the toy exhibits.

Of course they found the train exhibit and loved it.

We walked to Rockefeller Park so the boys could see the tree and ice skating.
We then ate at the food court down below with the ice skating.

After naps we headed back out and met up at Times Square. (Terrible picture of me but great picture of the rest of the crew.)

The boys loved the red steps in Times Square. We climbed to the top to see from up high and then Austin wanted to jump down the steps.

We then headed to eat at a little diner by my brother's apartment and then headed back to the Benners for the night. I had plans to meet back up with my brother for drinks but our littlest man had other plans. He fell while brushing his teeth and cut the back of this throat. There was a lot of blood and a lot of tears. I felt like it was best that I stayed home in case it wasn't a good night and it wasn't a good night. Miller just didn't want to sleep. I think his throat was hurting and he was cold. We tried everything to get him to go to sleep but he only wanted to be held. He didn't want us to lie down either so it was rough going for a couple hours but we finally got him down around 1:00. I was on my phone looking at train trips back because I felt so terrible about keeping the Benners up. They live in 1000 square feet so I knew they could hear him crying but didn't know what to do. He finally calmed down when we covered him with extra blankets and laid down right beside him. Thankfully he slept from 1:00-8:00. Sweet Austin the next morning told us he slept great and that brother never cried. We aren't sure how its possible he didn't hear him since all 4 of us were in the same room but very thankful that he wasn't up as well.

I'll end the post here but I still have Monday morning to post about...stay tuned!

some Christmas happenings...

2011-12-19T08:00:00.000-06:00

We have been in full Christmas mode around here.

Enjoying a Rudolph donut as a breakfast treat.
Eating Rudolph sandwiches for lunch.

Talking about Jesus and the real meaning of Christmas.
Picking out our Christmas tree (we didn't make it to the tree farm...2 sick boys made it seem not so appealing...Home Depot worked out just fine. =)
Decorating our tree

Somehow we always go from this...sweet...

to this...wrestling...

the look on Miller's face says it all...leave me alone brother!

We still have a few more Christmas activities ahead but I am waiting on reinforcement from the troops (aka...my mom) to help me out.

Hope you too are enjoying this Christmas season!

Five for Friday

2011-12-16T12:00:00.000-06:00

1. We found a delicious and cheap Authentic Mexican place close by. This is the best news!!! I have searched and searched for good, cheap mexican (like Las Delicias) and think I found it. We will be eating there lots.

2. Thankful to my in laws for placing a beautiful Christmas plant at Forrest's gravesite. Wish I could be there to do it but thankful they are.

3. My mom is coming to visit in 6 days!!! Woo hoo!!!! We can't wait to see Gigi!

4. Wednesday was Austin's last day of Soccer. He had such wonderful coaches and we were sad to say goodbye.

5. Austin is learning to write his letters and this is his first word to write on his own. JESUS. I spelled it for him but he looked up at our letter crafts and wrote every letter by himself. I know I'm bragging but again this is my blog for me to remember our precious life so I don't want to forget this.
Anything you want to add for your Five for Friday? Happy weekend!!!

...Orlando trip part II

2011-12-14T14:21:00.000-06:00

On Thursday afternoon we headed to Magic Kingdom. You can get discounts on tickets if you go after 4:00 so we decided to go that route for this trip. It was perfect. The boys took a good nap and then we jumped on the shuttle to Magic Kingdom.

We immediately made our way to "It's a Small World". David and I loved this as a child so we thought Austin would love it as well and he did. His face was priceless. In awe of all the people, colors, sounds...it was wonderful.
Miller enjoyed it too.

We then continued through Fantasyland and onto Tomorrowland where we rode the go carts.
Austin and I did this last September when we went and he was just as funny this time. He steers and I push the pedal and if your not careful, you will get whiplash. He laughs so hard as he slams us into everything. We got out of the car and he turned to me and said, "Mom, I laughed so hard I peed in my pants", if thats not a sign of a good time than I don't know what is. =) Luckily I had a spare pair of pants and underwear.

David and Miller were behind us in their car.
The castle was beautiful at night with lights that looked like icicles on it. It really was magical.

We asked someone to take our picture (we meant our whole family) and this is what we got. We just laughed at this one.

On the way out we stopped at the gift shop to let them pick one thing. Austin picked a goofy stuffed animal and Miller picked a Mickey.
We then stopped at the theater to make sure we saw Mickey and Minnie.
Austin was so excited! He wanted to show them his new Goofy and kept asking them where Goofy was.

Miller liked them as well but only if he was in daddy's arms. There was no way he was getting close to them without mom or dad holding him.

So because of Miller not letting go of Daddy, we were all 4 in the picture. =)
Austin got in a few more hugs and kisses before we said goodbye.
He told me later that Minnie kissed him and he liked it. It truly was a wonderful experience that I can't wait to do again. I am looking forward to the day where we really do a Disney trip...go numerous days to the park, where matching Disney shirts, and just live it up for a week.

Because Austin kept asking about Goofy we decided to do the character breakfast at our hotel on Saturday morning because Goofy and Pluto were supposed to be there. David was still at his conference so I took the boys by myself. I thought this was going to be wonderful (and towards the end it was) but they didn't like it at first. As soon as the Characters came into sight, both boys freaked out. Austin hid under the table and Miller screamed and cried. I didn't know what to do...I was trying to comfort both of them while figuring out what Austin was scared about. He finally told me he didn't like that Pluto could walk standing up and that Goofy had sharp teeth. After some encouragement and talks about neither being scary and that Goofy's teeth weren't sharp, just big, he finally warmed up to them. Miller would laugh and smile if they were far away but if they came close, he would scream and cry. After a while they were ok with him coming close as long as I was right there. It took about an hour for them to finally get a picture with him.
After Austin warmed up to Goofy he wanted to take a picture with Pluto before we left.

We got to see my dad and his wife our first and last day. Our first night they joined us for dinner at our restaurant.

Our last day they met up with us at the hotel and had ice cream with us. My dad and Miller shared cookies and cream.

You can tell by these next 2 pictures that it was a great trip with wonderful memories made.

Trip to Orlando

2011-12-14T13:54:00.000-06:00

We decided to join David on his work conference in Orlando last week and it was the best trip. We had such a wonderful time. I have told many people that it was the best thing I could do. Remove myself from distractions of home like Christmas shopping, to do lists, house cleaning, etc and just focus on my children for 6 days. It was so great. I have a very hard time relaxing unless I am away from home and this trip was a great mixture of quality time with the boys and some relaxing time during naps and nighttime. We had a balcony which was such a blessing. I spent the boys nap time and nighttime out on the balcony reading and it was glorious! I never read during nap time so it was such a treat.

David was busy with the conference so the boys and I would eat a nice breakfast together, go for a run around the complex, and then either swim or just walk around. Everyday but one was perfect weather and the one day that was cold we went to Magic Kingdom so it was kinda nice to not be sweating.

The boys loved the kiddie pool because it was just their size. We spent a lot of time there.

David loved the action shots of these next few pictures. I tell you, this little guy cracks me up.
More swimming from the big guy.
Trying on brother's goggles.
Brother getting his goggles back.
A view of our complex from the Disney Boardwalk. We stayed at the Disney Swan and Dolphin Resort which is nestled between Epcot, Hollywood Studios, and Disney's Boardwalk.
Some views of the boardwalk. This is where we would do our morning runs. It was really nice to be running in shorts and a t-shirt instead of the layers I am running in Boston.
There was a fountain outside of our hotel that the boys loved watching at night. It changed colors which they thought was the coolest thing.

Inside of our hotel was a massive Christmas tree made out of Poinsettas with a train going around the bottom. Of course my little guys loved it. We spent some time there everyday.

I love these next 3 pictures. Very sweet brothers.

Miller checking out his reflection in the table.
I had to remind the boys often that the furniture in the lobby was not our furniture and it was not ok to jump on it. Here is Austin taking off his shoes so he can "play" on the furniture.
This is already a long post so next post will be of Disney! Stay tuned...

Little peek...

2011-12-12T06:19:00.000-06:00

David took the camera cord with him to work so I can't download all the pictures from the camera but here is a little peek into what we did last week.

Can you guess where we went?

Five for Friday

2011-12-09T12:33:00.001-06:00

So sorry I have not blogged in a while. We are quite busy at the moment but I hope to update the blog with some fun adventures on Monday or Tuesday. For now...I will do my Five for Friday.

1. My littlest makes me laugh everyday, numerous times a day. He has one of the funniest little personalities. He loves helmets and puts his on all the time. This is him wearing his buddy William's helmet at the park.

2. The FSF newsletters went out this week and should be arriving in mailboxes very soon. Let me know if you didn't get one and would like to receive one.

3. I am having the best week with my children (again, will blog about it on Monday or Tuesday).

4. I am trying really hard to start running again so any accountability would be great. I am super slow (especially when I am pushing 2 boys that weigh over 50 lbs in a double BOB) but its a start. Not sure how the boys or I are going to make it through the cold winter running but hopeful we can do it.

5. Some funny quotes from my 3 year old.
"Mom, that school bus doesn't have a nose." -Driving down the road we saw a school bus without the front part that sticks out. The hood was flat.
"Mom, I don't have enough en-gy (energy) to go poopy." -He says this as he's sitting on the toilet.
"Mom, those cheeros are really loud." -Talking about the cheerleaders who were practicing their cheer next to us.

rest of Thanksgiving

2011-12-04T06:00:00.000-06:00

We woke up Saturday morning to perfect Fall weather so we decided to spend the morning outside enjoying it. We took the train to Newbury Street (awesome shopping) and walked along stopping at a few stores along the way. We then headed to the Boston Gardens and Boston Commons and stopped for playtime at the children's playground.

My children love the Boston Commons Playground. It is a great playground but always so crowded so I enjoyed having 3 extra eyes to watch out for my little guys. Dingdad was on top of it keeping an eye on Austin at all times. He was everywhere. At one point he ran up to David, said "Hi Daddy, bye daddy, I need to go run" and took off running again. I love having boys!
Both of my children crack me up on a daily basis but this one is something else. He is so funny. At the playground he walked over to the stroller, grabbed his snack trap, climbed up on the wall, and sat and ate his snack my himself. He was so proud of himself. He has one of the funniest little personalities. You often find him at our house with his helmet on, a basket on his head, or just making funny faces.

On Saturday night the grandparents watched the boys so we could go on a date to Stephanie's on Newbury. It was delicious and they had already decorated beautifully for Christmas. I loved being alone with my husband enjoying dinner and walking the streets of Boston because the weather was perfect.

Sunday morning we went to church where Austin participated in the Children's Cherub Choir during the offertory. They have been practicing every Sunday during Children's Church for this song. He was hilarious. The song was "We are Marching in the Light of God" and he stood in the back the entire time with his fingers in his mouth and just marched...no singing...just marched. He was so proud of himself though. It was precious.
He's still marching in the back even while all the other kids are leaving the stage =)
After church we decided to walk through Beacon Hill, one of my favorite areas in Boston. If I had unlimited money than I would buy a second home in Beacon Hill. It is beautiful and what I imagined Boston would look like.

We walked through Beacon Hill to the Charles River. I also love the Charles River. Such a beautiful part of Boston.

We ended the walk with daddy carrying both of his boys.
On Sunday night we spent time wearing our new reindeer pj's, reading books, and just being together. It was a perfect end to a perfect week.

Five for Friday

2011-12-01T10:45:00.001-06:00

1. We are excited to be heading to a tree farm tomorrow to cut down our tree. This is our first time to cut down our own tree so I am very excited. I have been eager to get ours so I'm pumped we are going tomorrow.

2. Love this picture of my little guy. Not the greatest picture but such a reflection of his personality. This little guy loves life (and donuts which he's eating).

3. Enjoying constant music in our house. Austin is constantly singing, playing the guitar, harmonica, or drums. Miller usually participates in some way.

4. So thankful for the relationship my boys share. They really do adore and love each other. Praying this relationship can stay this way forever. Nothing better than seeing your 2 loves love each other so well.

5. Blessed by sweet girlfriends in Boston. 6 of us spent time together last night making new shirts for our children and enjoying time together. It was just what I needed after some hard days with my boys.

Busy time...

2011-12-01T09:42:00.001-06:00

Thanksgiving week part 1:

We loved having Yaya and Dingdad in town for Thanksgiving. The boys loved showing them some of their favorite places and enjoyed just playing around the house. We had such major detox on Tuesday when they realized only mommy was there to play with.

We did lots of playing

Wore our helmets for safety
Loved having our daddy off for a couple days
Excited to have matching scrubs so he could be just like daddy
Read lots of books together
Gave and received a lot of kisses
Enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving meal
Loved playing at the playground on beautiful days
Rode rides and a train at Edaville Train Park
We still have Saturday and Sunday to post about...

Rambling Dan

2011-11-29T22:36:00.001-06:00

I'm working on a longer post of our week with Grandparents and Thanksgiving but for now I will leave you with 2 videos of my children enjoying Rambling Dan in the Boston Gardens. If Rambling Dan doesn't make you want to come to Boston than I don't know what will.

Here's a picture of Ramblin Dan. He really is amazing. My kids could watch him for hours. Austin calls him the Music Man.

Five for Friday

2011-11-25T08:12:00.001-06:00

Five for Friday...

1. I am soo thankful for my mom for numerous reasons but today I am thankful that is she is taking care of our precious Sadie.

Since we left Memphis 5 months ago, Sadie has lived with quite a few people and it just wasn't working out. She was traumatized by us leaving and took it out on the people she was living with. Thankfully my mom was willing to take Sadie into her home and let her live with her until we return. Thanks Mom! I am so thankful for you.

2. Thankful that David's parents are here visiting. The boys have LOVED having their grandparents here. We will be sad to see them leave on Monday.

3. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving meal with the Spences. Thankful that Diane was here to help with the cooking. It was a tight squeeze around the dinner table but we loved all being together.

4. Excited we are heading to Edaville Railroad in Carver, MA today. We are taking a train ride through the Christmas Festival of Lights and playing on the vintage amusement rides for kids. I know Austin is going to love it.
5. So thankful for these precious men in my life. I am so blessed.

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T06:00:00.000-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving from my little turkeys.

Precious shirts made by my friend Bridgette. We love them!
I have so many things to be thankful for. Gratitude is a choice...I pray I wake up everyday thankful for the many blessings I have been given.

We hope you enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday.

Thinking of him...

2011-11-21T06:00:00.000-06:00

I'm missing him today...I heard this song a while back and immediately thought of Forrest. Steven Curtis Chapman understands the deep grief that goes with losing a child.

With Hope

This is not at all how  

We thought it was supposed to be  

We had so many plans for you  

We had so many dreams  

And now you've gone away  

And left us with the memories of your smile  

And nothing we can say  

And nothing we can do  

Can take away the pain  

The pain of losing you, but ...

We can cry with hope  

We can say goodbye with hope  

'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, ohno  

And we can grieve with hope  

'Cause we believe with hope  

(There's a place by God's grace)  

There's a place where we'll see your faceagain  

We'll see your face again

And never have I known  

Anything so hard to understand  

And never have I questioned more  

The wisdom of God's plan  

But through the cloud of tears  

I see the Father's smile and say well done  

And I imagine you  

Where you wanted most to be  

Seeing all your dreams come true  

'Cause now you're home  

And now you're free, and ...

We have this hope as an anchor  

'Cause we believe that everything  

God promised us is true, so ...

We wait with hope  

And we ache with hope  

We hold on with hope  

We let go with hope

-Stephen Curtis Chapman

Hope is definitely something we hold onto. We know we will see his face again and what a reunion that will be. He's home...what a beautiful image to think about. He's home where he belongs...with his Father...his Creator.

Come quickly Jesus...

Five for Friday

2011-11-18T06:00:00.000-06:00

Woo hoo! It's Friday...Five for Friday time!

1. Yaya and Dingdad are coming to visit us next week...everyone is so excited to have them in town.

2. I booked the boys and my trip home in January. We are going home for 2 weeks! Can't wait to see friends and family, eat some good Mexican food, worship in our home church, participate in the Forrest Spence Fund dinner at the FedEx House, and so much more!

3. The Forrest Spence Fund newsletter is ready to send to the printer. This year we started working on it in September but no matter how much time we give ourselves, it is always so stressful at the end. David and I have been working day and night updating the database. There are almost 1300 names on our database so it's a lot to keep up with. I will be so thankful when these bad boys are in the mail.

4. Austin is doing so well with his letters and loves making our craft letter of the day. Yesterday was P so we read a book about Penguins and made a P-Penguin craft.

5. I am so thankful for precious, Godly women who are pouring into my lives here in Boston. I am a part of a wonderful Bible study full of incredible women of God and they have loved me deeply even without knowing me that well. I shared 2 weeks ago about the anniversary of Forrest's passing coming up and this past Wednesday she brought me this. What a treasure! I really will miss these ladies when we leave.

Swim Lessons and Soccer

2011-11-17T09:38:00.001-06:00

Austin finished up swim lessons this week.
He took for 10 weeks. He was the youngest in his class by at least a year.
I think his age and size definitely hindered him a little in this class. He had a hard time paying attention. He had no fear of the water so the teachers didn't mind that he was so young but I don't think they pushed him hard enough.
It was hard as a swim lesson teacher myself to sit and watch him not be pushed to do more. I felt like he was doing more with me this summer than he was doing during class. He was so little compared to the other kids that I don't think his teachers thought he could do it.
I didn't say anything throughout the whole class until the last class. Yes, I was that mom who came up at the end of the class and threw him in the water and told him he could swim. He had a life jacket on so I knew he would be fine but I was tired of watching the teachers gently lower him into the water and not let him do anything on his own. David only made it to the last class so I am pretty sure I humiliated him but I wanted to show Austin he could do more than they were letting him do. Looking back I probably shouldn't have done it but he was fine and did great on his own in the water (with a life jacket).

We are going to try another swim school in town this Spring. I know he can do it if someone pushed him a little.

He is also taking Soccer right now (indoor) and loving it. There are only 3 boys in his class so it is a lot of high energy. One of the boys in the class is his best bud William (he missed the day I took pictures). They are loving it!

What am I doing while Austin plays soccer...entertaining this little guy.

He wants to play with his brother so badly that he runs for the soccer balls and I am constantly chasing him away from the practice.

David came to watch this soccer practice so he helped contain the littlest one.
My 2 guys are at a really fun age. They are playing together and really love being together.
They make up games together, chase and wrestle each other, and every morning Austin asks if he can read to Miller in his crib. I need to get this on tape. It's precious. He only reads for about a minute and then they start to wrestle. Boys will be boys!

Tired...

2011-11-15T13:08:00.001-06:00

This blog post is authored by one tired mommy. David worked last Wednesday night until midnight, a regular 12 hour day Thursday, Friday morning until Saturday night and then worked Monday until 11:30 at night. There has been a lot of mommy/little guys time and even though I love it...I am tired. I can't even imagine how exhausted my husband is. I don't know about you other wives out there but if David isn't home at a decent time then I don't go to bed at a decent time. I stay up doing ridiculous things until I can't keep my eyes open any longer. So because of my lack of sleep this blogpost will be a filled with a wide assortment of subjects.

What I have been up to that has kept me up late...

Reading incredible books like this one. The Hunger Games Trilogy was awesome...I mean awesome! A must read! I wanted something similar to read after I finished this series so I just started this series.
I know they are both Young Adult books but I don't care...I will shout from the mountain top that I love these books. I am also a HUGE Harry Potter fan so maybe that tells you a little about me. David bought me a Kindle for Mother's Day and I love reading at night on my Kindle. He also made the mistake of buying me a light for it so now I stay up too late (often disturbing him) reading on my Kindle.

This morning I watched the trailer for the Hunger Games coming in March and I am pumped!

Anyone want to fly to Boston to see the movie with me? Hoping I can talk my husband into it. He made fun of me for years about being obsessed with Harry Potter and now he is a huge fan as well after reading all the books.

I have also been up late scouring deals for Christmas shopping. I kinda obsess about finishing my Christmas shopping early. I really want to spend the month of December focusing on the real meaning of Christmas and not being stressed about shopping so instead I'm just stressed now.

Austin has entertained himself as well...

Yes, he is playing on the iPod touch while going to the bathroom. Are you kidding me...he's only 3 and he's acting like a full fledged grown man. =)

On a final, very important note...my precious niece is turning 4 today. Happy 4th birthday Olivia...we love you very much and wish we could be with you to celebrate your special day!

Five for Friday

2011-11-11T06:00:00.000-06:00

Five for Friday - doing things I am thankful for since it's almost Thanksgiving!

1. So thankful for this man. He works so hard everyday. He is a wonderful physician, father, and husband.

2. Thankful for friends. Both of our husbands are working tomorrow so we are spending the day together. So much nicer than spending a Saturday alone.
3. Thankful that Austin is in a little better mood. Notice I said little. =)

4. Thankful to a friend who sent old pictures she found from our wedding.

5. Thankful for great friendships that go back 13 years and still make you laugh.
What are you thankful for today?

Last few days...

2011-11-09T19:10:00.000-06:00

I don't know what it is with 3 year olds but I tell you what...they are moody! Austin was the sweetest thing last week and this week he has been anything but sweet. He has been moody, irritable, and disobedient. We have gone round and round with his behavior and it is about to do me in. A little prayer on my behalf would be much appreciated!

On Saturday we had breakfast at another bakery in town. If you haven't guessed already, my family likes bakeries. My husband loves bakeries so we have made it our mission to find all the good ones in town. We enjoyed this one but think we have been spoiled by the one we had a little over a month ago.
The oldest didn't want his picture taken...see what I mean...moody!

After the bakery we headed back to Walden Pond to redeem ourselves. We went prepared this time. I wore Miller in the Ergo carrier and David wore Austin in our new (new to us-I bought it at a Consignment store in Boston) Kelty Backpack Carrier.

I had very high expectations for our hike and unfortunately they weren't completely met. Austin kept wanting to go everywhere besides the path we were supposed to stay on.

Miller was a little uncomfortable in the Ergo so I had to turn him around.
Looking back though it was nice.

Saturday evening David and I went on a nice date to the Northend. It was so great to be alone with my husband and enjoy a quiet dinner together.

Sunday we attended church and heard an amazing testimony of Libby Little who along with her husband Tom served as missionaries in Afghanistan. A year ago August Tom along with 9 others were killed by gunmen in Badakhshan, a remote northeastern region of the country. Her testimony was incredible. You can read more about them in this CNN article.

Monday the boys and I met up with friends at a new park near the Charles River. It has been beautiful the last few days so we are taking full advantage of it.
Tuesday night David had a work event so we hired a babysitter, dressed up nice, and went out on the town. It was really nice and such a treat to go out 2 times in one week.

Seven for Saturday

2011-11-05T06:00:00.000-05:00

Since yesterday was Friday and I really want to start doing Five for Friday but wanted my Friday post to focus on Forrest I decided to wait till today to post. So today I'm doing Seven for Saturday.

1. Going on a date with this hottie tonight to this Restaurant.

2. Taking a hike to this beautiful place today with my family.

3. Really loving working on our Thankful Tree.

Austin has really loved coming up with things he is thankful for. My favorite include blanket.

and ice cream sandwich.

4. For beautiful weather in Boston for the next week.

5. For my biggest little guy loving working on his letters. He is really into learning each letter and constantly asks what that word starts with. The teacher in me is eating it up.

6. For my littlest little guy getting a haircut on Thursday. He was starting to look like Bozo and I really struggled with letting anyone cut his hair but I think it turned out well. He still has his precious curls.

7. For this new day and knowing that I am one day closer to being reunited with my precious first born.

4 years...

2011-11-04T06:00:00.000-05:00

Dear Forrest,

How has it been 4 years since I held your hand, kissed your face, smelled your baby smell, and held you in my arms? Some days it feels like yesterday and some days it feels so long ago. I see you in both your brothers. I know you are with them. Austin talks about you often. I love that he thinks whenever we talk about Jesus that we are talking about you too. He knows you are together. What a beautiful way to look at it...no sadness about it...just full joy that you are with Jesus. The words to the song Fix You affect your daddy and I in so many ways.

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face

And I
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you

We couldn't fix you. We had to watch as you left this earth and were no longer with us. It was the hardest thing I have ever done...saying goodbye to you. I know that you are in a better place. I know you would never want to be back here with us but I am selfish...I want you here. I would have given anything to fix you. I would have given my life for yours. Thinking about those 55 days of watching you struggle...watching as tears streamed down my face and knowing there was nothing I could do but pray. My heart hurts just thinking about how terribly hard that was. Time does heal but it doesn't ever heal completely. You aren't with me...end of story...I want you here....I want to be your mother on earth. I miss you sweet baby. I miss you so badly.

Love,
Mommy

My precious friend Halley placed these flowers at his gravesite yesterday. Its killing me that I can't visit his site today. Thank you Halley.

Halloween

2011-11-03T12:40:00.002-05:00

We had a wonderful Halloween! As you can see the boys were animals this year. I found their costumes at a Consignment Sale in Memphis when I was home in August and decided to go ahead and buy them since they were such a good deal. When I returned to Boston David asked what if Austin didn't like being a monkey but thankfully he did because we called him Curious George! He loves Curious George. He told everyone he was wearing his George suit. He wouldn't call it a costume.

Miller was the cutest little duck around. I can't believe they both wore their costumes with their hoods on the entire time. Thankfully its colder up here so they didn't ever get too hot. They were perfect because it meant they didn't need coats as well.

We took these pictures before we left for our friends house in Beacon Hill.

We took the train to Beacon Hill where we met up with 3 other families. We had dinner together before we went Trick or Treating. Beacon Hill is a beautiful area of Boston with gorgeous grand homes. They go all out for Halloween with great decorations, sounds, and good candy. Beacon Hill is where Senator John Kerry lives. We did trick or treat at his house but he wasn't the one giving out candy.

Our friend Remi was Peter Pan. His mommy is a great designer and interior decorator and made his costume.

Austin's friend William was also a Curious George. They loved being the same thing.

We also met up with our friends the Meduri's who were going to meet us for dinner before but they had a new baby girl on Thursday so just met us to Trick or Treat instead. Sebastian was a precious Train Conductor.

Austin was so sweet as he trick or treated. He would walk up to each house, say very sweetly "trick or treat" and then say "thank you" as he placed the candy in his basket. Miller on the other hand walked straight up, took a piece of candy, walked a little ways off and then immediately tore the wrapper off to stick it in his mouth. He thought it was the greatest night. =)

Another wonderful memory made for our little family of 4.

Reality

2011-11-01T06:36:00.000-05:00

I feel like sometimes when I blog I act as everything is perfect, rosy, and we never have tough days. That is so far from the truth. Parenting is hard! Some days I am so exhausted that the last thing I want to do is another craft, another story, another train track, or sweep my floors one more time. I love my boys more than anything but there are still days when I want to cover my ears, curl up in a ball, and go to my happy place.

Having a 3 year old tests me everyday. He knows how to push my buttons and does it often. He is a sponge that picks up everything so I have to be so cautious about the things I say and do. No longer can I watch the Today Show in the morning with no cares about what they are showing or saying. He now listens intently and there are many things I don't want him to see or hear that goes on in the world. The selfish sinner in me wants to watch my Today show without worries but instead, I have to be mindful of the little men in my life that need me to pour healthy, loving things in their ears. Some days he is the sweetest little guy giving me hugs, kisses, and telling me "I love you too Mommy".

Then in the next moment, he becomes moody, irritable, and tells me, "You make me mad mommy."

One of his favorite books is "Llama, Llama Mad at Mommy" Little Llama doesn't want to shop with his mommy so he throws a big fit in the store but by the end of the story he loves his mommy again. That is our day to day trials. One minute he loves his brother and I and then the next he doesn't want anything to do with us.

Having a 16 month old tests me daily. He is into everything! You can't turn your back from him for 1 minute without him getting into something he shouldn't. He is curious and I should be cultivating his curiosity but some days I just want to strap him to his chair so he doesn't get into anything else. I am trying to let the little things like pulling all the toilet paper off the roll, playing in the sink, playing in the trash, breaking my crockpot lid, and running straight for the water to not un-nerve me. Its hard though and I struggle everyday with the little things often getting to me.

Living life everyday knowing my first born isn't with us is hard. I miss him so much and wonder constantly what he would look like, how he would act, what things would he love. Living in Boston where not many people know his story/my story is hard. To the people I meet I have 2 beautiful boys but what they don't know is I have 3 beautiful boys, 1 just isn't with me. I have shared with some about Forrest but not many. I have shared before that when we lost Forrest, I felt like my arm was amputated. I learned how to live life with 1 less arm but I will forever be crippled because he's not here with us. Until I am reunited with him in eternity, my life is missing such a big piece. I made a choice the weekend we were losing him that I would not be bitter and angry at God forever but instead would let it spurn me to love others and God deeper but there are still days where the bitterness and anger creep in.

I post the happy, beautiful moments because they are what you so often take the pictures of. In the midst of the arguments, temper tantrums, and sad moments of missing Forrest I don't take the pictures. They are a part of everyday but I don't usually post about them. Reality is...life is hard...life is tough...life is a struggle...but life is also beautiful...life is precious...life is blessed...and I am so thankful for the lives of my 3 precious boys.

*I felt I should post this after last post where I look like Martha Stewart (which if you know me you know I am not Martha Stewart) and before the post of Halloween where it looks like my kids love each other and we had the most wonderful Halloween. I love to blog and show my family far away what is going on in our life but I also struggle with wanting to be real and let others see that in no way do I or my family have it all together.*

Halloween play date and our weekend

2011-10-31T07:00:00.000-05:00

On Friday we had some friends over for a Halloween play date. Austin loves having people over and has become very social with his little friends up here. He asks every morning what we have planned for the day and who we are seeing. =) He was very excited for his friends to come over in their costumes.

I love Pinterest! All the recipes for the treats came from Pinterest. Halloween Cat Cookies
Halloween Pumpkin Rice Krispie Treats
The pumpkin chocolate chip muffins came from my friend Lindley. They were delicious.
We did a couple crafts together. Simple crafts that 2 & 3 year olds could do like scratch the Halloween ornament and make a sucker ghost.
And just enjoyed being together with our Boston friends.
After the party my little Curious George was totally tuckered out.
On Saturday we headed to the Children's Museum. This was David's first time to go so the kids were thrilled to show them some of their favorite things. Listening to Llama Llama while daddy reads to Miller.

Playing with the tools.

Driving the bus with daddy.
On Sunday we woke up to this....I mean, are you kidding?!? It's only October 30! I don't think we are ready for this winter.

When we came home from church we had no power so it caused all of us to snuggle up in our beds for long naps. =) After naps we carved our pumpkin (in the dark).
These little guys spent the night drying out so they can be baked to enjoy later.
Because of no power, we enjoyed a tasty burger at Tasty Burger!
We are looking forward to a fun filled Halloween with our little monkey and duck!

Five for Friday

2011-10-28T14:25:00.000-05:00

I am doing a quick post: Five For Friday

1. It's almost the weekend which means Daddy is home!

2. I can't wait for Halloween. My boys are the most precious Duck and Monkey around.

3. I love having friends over and we had a fun Halloween play date at our house this morning.

4. I have had some great conversations with my bestie who I miss terribly!

5. It looks like the stomach bug missed Miller. This is a miracle!
Hope you are having a fabulous Friday! Enjoy the weekend.

Life around here...

2011-10-27T07:00:00.000-05:00

Some instagram pics of our life lately...

Miller giving me a kiss when I wasn't feeling so well.
David taking the boys on a bike ride on Sunday so I could rest and try to feel better.
The boys built a huge fort. It took up our entire den. This entertained them for a while.
The boys enjoying playing in the hamper together.
City living grocery shopping. There is a lot of food stuffed down in the bottom of the stroller as well.
Getting ready to start swim lessons.

Not our best weekend...

2011-10-25T18:35:00.001-05:00

Austin and I came down with the stomach bug this weekend. Thankfully it was short lived (12 hours for him and about 24 for me) but I then came down with some upper respiratory junk. We had plans of having friends over Saturday night before they welcome their princess into the world and attending a Halloween party but unfortunately we couldn't do either. Before the stomach bug hit we did meet up with some friends at our neighborhood park on Friday morning.

On Friday afternoon Austin attended a Super Soccer Stars Demo. He loved it. He has asked to play soccer everyday since.

Sweet Miller really wanted to be in on the action. I was very busy chasing him off the field.

Funny conversation happened at the Soccer Stars Demo. One of the moms I met just recently asked if my kids always wear shirts with their names on it. She said the 2 times she has seen us they have had shirts with their name on it. I tried to tell her that they are very popular in the South but I don't think she understood. I think she thinks I can't remember my kids names. It does help with that as well. =)

We did make the Open House at the Children's Hospital though. David was excited to show us where he worked. They do this every 3 years. It really was neat. They had activities like making your own doctor bag.

Giving the kids a scrub hat and mask to wear.

They gave away tons of stuffed animals.

This little elephant even received a cast for his broken leg.
They had many of the OR's open for the families to see.
Daddy and Austin's favorite was the Orthopaedic OR.
Austin used a drill to drill a hole in a bone just like his daddy.
Miller lost interest and instead became fascinated with the skeleton.
He also tried to drink the biodine. Never a dull moment with this little guy.
We really had a great time seeing where daddy works.

The real Walden Pond

2011-10-21T06:00:00.000-05:00

We made it to the real Walden Pond...but unfortunately we weren't prepared. We decided on the way to the airport (dropping Gigi off) that we wanted to drive to Walden Pond. I didn't have a warm enough coat for myself and none of us were really dressed for hiking. We weren't really sure what to expect with Walden Pond so I am glad we went and can now know what to bring for our return trip. The double BOB stroller couldn't fit through the narrow pathways so we want to take the hiking backpacks next time. Austin loved it though. He loved running through the pathways, picking up sticks and leaves, and climbing up the hills. I know he will love it when we return. Hopefully in 2 weeks the leaves will have changed even a little bit more. Boston is experiencing a later than usual season change with the leaves.

On the way back home we stopped at Chick-fil-a. David thought it was a little crazy to drive over 15 minutes farther just to have Chick-fil-a but when you haven't had it in 3 months, you'll drive just about any distance. You can tell Austin enjoyed it!

On Sunday we enjoyed church, a trip to Costco, a very relaxing afternoon, and our normal Sunday night dinner of banana pancakes made by David. It was just what we needed!

Monday we met some friends at the Children's Museum. We love this place. It will be a God send this winter. The boys run, play, laugh, and just enjoy being at such an amazing place for kids. Here they are flying the plane.

Playing at the tool area. They loved the safety goggles. =)
David's brother Ryan and wife Corinne bought us a year membership and we are so thankful for it. Thanks guys!

Last few days with Gigi

2011-10-19T14:04:00.001-05:00

On Thursday morning my mom and I shopped on Newbury Street (the fun shopping area in Boston) while the boys stayed with Nim (our babysitter). It was so nice to spend some quality time with my mom while not worrying about 2 little rascals running around. It was raining so it wasn't exactly what I had in mind but still fun. That afternoon we just hung out and played. We built a tent to play in.
On Friday we took the kids to the Aquarium. All of us love the Aquarium but I'm just not sure I can do it with 2 kids alone. It is very dark so you can see the sea life but I am constantly worried I will lose a kid. When there is 2 of us we can play man on man and not defense.

Because it was a weekday it was far less crowded so we had a great view of the sea lions. They were so playful and fun to watch.
The boys love the penguins and want to see them from every floor.

Austin was scared of the shark this time. He is at the age that you never quite know if he will be scared of something or not. Sometimes he loves something and other times he's frightened by the same thing.

That afternoon my mom watched the boys while I got a much needed haircut and that night David and I went on a date! It was wonderful.

We were so sad to see her leave on Saturday. Miller tried climbing in her suitcase to go home with her.
He even packed his beloved monkey for the trip home.
It was a wonderful week with so many memories made. We love you Gigi and are so thankful you came to visit.

I love a giveaway...

2011-10-17T13:56:00.000-05:00

I love a giveaway and would LOVE to win a years worth of Burlap door hangers. My friend Cortney has started a precious business and is so creative. Head over to her etsy shop www.thechipperchickie.etsy.com and see what all she has. You can also like her on Facebook at the Chipper Chickie.

Here are some examples of her work.

Pumpkin Patch and Apple Picking

2011-10-17T06:00:00.000-05:00

On Wednesday my mom and I drove to Tougas Farm in Northboro, MA. It took about 50 minutes to get there but was so worth it. This farm has all kinds of fruit throughout the year but right now it only has apples. It also has a pumpkin patch.

We picked a Peck worth (10 lbs) of apples. Austin did a great job picking good apples out of the tree. Miller only picked up apples that were old, already eaten halfway by an animal, and on the ground. We had to pretend to put Miller's apples in the bag and then throw them back on the ground when he wasn't looking. We chose different kinds of apples that were all known for their sweetness and some tartness.

They loved running through the apple fields.
(In the next picture you can see an apple sticking out of his left pocket. He told me he was saving it for later.)

After we finished picking our apples, we stopped at the Pumpkin Patch and picked 2 little pumpkins for my 2 little guys.

Something caught their attention...
What could it be...

one of Austin's favorite things...a bulldozer/digger.

After picking our pumpkins, we headed to the petting zoo.
We then went to play at the playground that had a tractor you could sit on. Austin loved this.
Miller did too.

There were huge tires you could play on.
And really fun slides.

After playing at the playground we picked up some lunch at the Farm Kitchen, ate at the picnic tables, took home a cookbook, and enjoyed a great ride home together. As we were driving home I heard a loud crunch...when I looked back, Austin was eating the apple he was saving for later. He was serious when he told me he wanted it for later. =)

That evening mom and I made homemade Apple Crisp with all our apples. It was delicious. We are definitely making this an annual tradition when we return to Memphis.

GNO

2011-10-15T13:14:00.000-05:00

GNO stands for Girls Night Out but in my case it was Girls Night In. The week before my family came in town I had 3 girlfriends over for craft night. These 3 girls are precious to me and I am so thankful to have them in my life in Boston. They are all from the South and have been transplanted here for a short period of time. I am the shortest time with 1 year, Molly is 1-2 years, Stephanie and Audra are both 4-5 years. I knew Audra and Stephanie from UT but just met Molly in Boston. All of our husbands are in the medical field. It has been so nice having these 3 and their precious children in our lives. So the girls came over to try and make this wreath I saw on my friends FB page.

Unfortunately, ours didn't look anything like this because I bought the wrong kind of burlap. I think it looks like a rats nest.

If you know me well than you know I am not Martha Stewart. I wish I had some craftiness in me but I really don't. I can follow directions well so that's why I thought I could follow the blog directions on how to make it. It doesn't matter how well you follow directions if you don't have the right type of burlap. So it ended up being a complete fail for the craft but we enjoyed sitting around talking, eating, and drinking.

I decided the next day to purchase the correct burlap and try it again. This time it worked with a little glue gun action (I told you I wasn't Martha Stewart) and looks pretty cute hanging in my kitchen window. Just a little Fall decoration in our apartment.

Let me know if you try it. It really was easy with the correct kind of burlap.

Day trip to Salem, MA

2011-10-14T06:00:00.000-05:00

On Sunday we planned on taking a day trip to see Walden Pond but realized after driving for 45 minutes that there were 2 Walden Ponds in Massuchesetts and we were at the wrong one. =( We were 40 minutes away from the one we wanted to see so we decided to drive to Salem instead because it was only 10 minutes away. I didn't think there would be anything for the boys to enjoy but they had a good time just walking around and taking in all the sites (and dressed up people). Salem is a little strange. It is obviously known for the witch trials in 1692-1693 so some of the locals take this very seriously and during the month of October, dress up in their finest Halloween gear. The town itself was a cute sea town and had some precious little houses and shops.

Austin wanted to help us find our way so he was in charge of the map =).
He led us to a gravesite where many of the so called "witches" were buried.

My brother Christoph having some fun.
We stopped at a local restaurant for brunch and Austin enjoyed a Mickey Mouse pancake. (By this time Miller and David had drove home so Miller could take a nap).

He then made a wand in the seaport square.

We then took the ferry from Salem back to Boston. We loved this part of the trip. Austin was great and loved riding on the Ferry. It was a win win situation. You could get popcorn, adult drinks, and sit back and enjoy the ride.

On Monday we took Gigi and Uncle Toph to see our favorite ducks.Gigi bought Miller his own big Monkey at Build a Bear. Miller loves his brothers stuffed animals so we thought it was time for him to have his own.On Tuesday Uncle Toph and Gigi came to watch Austin at swim lessons. He did a great job and loved the extra attention/praise he received. After swim lessons we unfortunately had to take Uncle Toph to South Station to catch his bus back to NYC. We miss him already and can't wait to see him in December. Only 2 months Uncle Toph until the Spences invade NYC. =)

We have been busy...

2011-10-12T20:35:00.000-05:00

...entertaining family! My mom and brother flew into Boston on Saturday night so we have been having so much fun showing them around our new city. That is why I am behind on the blog. My brother flew back to NYC last night and my mom is here until Saturday.

Before they came on Saturday David and I spent the day biking to and from Cambridge. We purchased a bike trailer and are really enjoying riding with the boys around town. Majority of the ride they were good but we definitely had some breakdowns, temper tantrums, and moments where we thought we wouldn't make it home. =)

We made our first stop at a playground next to the Charles River. The boys love this playground. I love it too because the view is gorgeous.
We then rode our bikes to Cambridge and enjoyed great Sandwiches at All Star Sandwich Bar and wonderful homemade ice cream next door at Christina's Homemade Ice Cream. I love these next few pictures. Austin loved feeding his little brother his ice cream. Miller thought it was hilarious and just giggled and giggled.

I love the sweet little relationship my 2 boys share. There are definite arguements and fights but they really do love each other. I pray every day they continue to be close.

After naps Austin painted his new train he received from his friend Sebastian.
That evening David made his famous banana pancakes. It was a wonderful day as a family.

Make Way for Ducklings

2011-10-06T10:09:00.000-05:00

Austin received the book Make Way for Ducklings for his birthday. He loves it and we have read it many times. The book is based in Boston and was published in 1941. It is precious and he loves that he knows exactly where the ducks are flying, landing, and making their home. We decided to wander through the Boston Public Gardens and talk all about the Ducklings and their home. At the end of our little tour, we stumbled upon the statues of Mrs. Mallard and the ducklings waddling into the Boston Gardens. The boys got a big kick out of sitting on the ducklings.
If you get a chance, definitely read this book to your kids. It is precious. This is what Amazon had to say about it.

Amazon.com Review
It's not easy for duck parents to find a safe place to bring up their ducklings, but during a rest stop in Boston's Public Garden, Mr. and Mrs. Mallard think they just might have found the perfect spot--no foxes or turtles in sight, plenty of peanuts from pleasant passers-by, and the benevolent instincts of a kindly police officer to boot. Young readers will love the mother duck's proud, loving protection of her wee webbed ones, and those with fond memories of Boston will enjoy familiar locales, from Beacon Hill to Louisburg Square, and over the Charles River--often from a duck's-eye view. Robert McCloskey, creator of Blueberries for Sal, never fails to elicit happy story-time giggles from youngsters, and his soft, brown-toned, Caldecott-winning illustrations make this gentle world come alive.

Product Description
Beloved by many generations of children, the Caldecott-winning story of Mrs. Mallard's search for a new home for her ducklings was chosen by American booksellers as one of the first inductees into the Picture Book Hall of Fame. The duckling family is immortalized in bronze statues in Boston's Public Garden, and duplicate statues can also be seen in a park in Moscow.

Bakery, aquarium, eating outside, oh my...

2011-10-04T07:00:00.000-05:00

We had another fun weekend in Boston. David was on call so that requires us to stay in the city. We try to spend time in a different area of Boston on his on call weekends. This weekend we roamed around the South End. We started Saturday morning with a visit to a famous bakery called Flour. Friends from home told us it was a must visit and I have to agree. The sticky buns were amazing!

After our delicious breakfast and seeing parts of the South End, we headed to the New England Aquarium. David's parents bought us a season pass so we plan on making lots of trips.
Miller loved watching the fish swim by.
They both loved the penguins.

In the middle of the building is a massive aquarium filled with all kinds of fish, sea turtles, and a shark. I think it was at least 4 stories high and you could see the aquarium from every floor.
It had some great exhibits.

On Sunday we enjoyed worship at our church, nice naps for everyone, and eating dinner outside.

Iphone Drop

2011-09-30T07:00:00.000-05:00

Here is a random collection of my iphone pics.

We LOVE the numerous parks in our area. If it is pretty, we are outside playing at one of the parks.
Getting ice cream with one of my favorite little guys after his flu shot.
My favorite big guy at Austin's birthday breakfast.
I am so blessed...

The Birthday party

2011-09-28T07:00:00.000-05:00

We decided before the boys were born that their first birthday party with friends would be when they turned 3. I know...kinda crazy to talk about before they are born but I told you I love birthdays and parties. David...not as much. He grew up a twin so he rarely had a party that was all about him. He is not into them like I am. He is fine with that...he loved sharing every occasion with his twin sister. He has grown to love them a little more because he loves me but he didn't really see a point in having a big party when they were 1 and 2. I didn't agree in the beginning but I do now. The kids don't actually get it until their 3. Austin got it this year and was all about it. He couldn't wait until his little friends showed up. We don't have a lot of friends in Boston but he loved having the few over who could make it. In less than 1000 square feet, you can't fit a lot of people anyways. It really was perfect.

We went with a train theme because as I said before, A is obsessed with planes and trains. He loves riding the train (subway or T) throughout Boston. I found a precious "print your own party theme" on Etsy and started printing away. David thought I was a little crazy but it helps with the grief after Forrest's birthday. Forrest's birthday is so difficult on me so I let myself grieve for a few days and then I dive into Austin's birthday preparations. I spent many nights printing and cutting things out but I loved that my little guy would be thrilled when he saw all the train things.

The wreath on our front door.

The sign on the back of the door.

The party favors

Chocolate chip cookies

Goody bags for the kids
The pictures birthday train along our hallway
The signs hanging from the light fixture in the den.
The banner leading into the kitchen (I forgot to take a picture of the banner in the kitchen but you can kind of see it in the background.)
The signs hanging from the light fixture in the playroom.
The food table

Blowing out his birthday candle
Opening presents

We were so glad David's aunt and uncle could make the party.
Our precious family

*Austin's train shirt was made my good friend Kacee.

3rd Birthday Extraganza

2011-09-26T20:40:00.000-05:00

Long post so you are forewarned but the grandparents want to see pictures of the birthday weekend!

If you know me well..than you know I love birthdays!!! I mean really love them. I think they should be super special no matter how old you are. I will still be celebrating my birthday big when I'm 92. So its no wonder that I think my children's birthdays are one of the most special days around. I love celebrating them, their lives, their future, etc.

We started the weekend (yes...I think you should celebrate more than just 1 day) by taking the boys to get Donuts. We gave Austin a choice of pancakes made by daddy, breakfast at the neighborhood restaurant, or donuts at Dunkin Donuts. He chose the donuts...he is definitely a mini David. =)

Had to show the curls on M...

After donuts we took the train to the closest Build a Bear Workshop. Austin has recently become very attached to stuffed animals and we didn't have but 1 little bear that was given to us at a function so I thought he would enjoy building his own bear.
He loved it! He picked out the bear...

stuffed it...

added a heart...

cleaned the bear...

dressed the bear...

and made him a birth certificate...his name is George =).

I love that he picked a Boston Red Sox uniform. Perfect for our year in Boston.

After building his bear we walked around and enjoyed the sites of Boston. That night we enjoyed dinner at a neighborhood restaurant.

On Sunday (his actual birthday) we had plans to go to early church and then come home to open presents and eat lunch together but the little rascal was so excited that he woke up nice and early before his mommy and daddy were ready for church. It threw us for a loop so we unfortunately didn't make it to church. He did enjoy opening all his gifts from his family.
You can tell from the pictures that Austin is pretty obsessed with planes and trains so very fitting that majority of his presents had something to do with those themes. My mom gave him a shapes airplane that Miller also loved.

She also gave him a Thomas the Train Airport with airplane. He loved it. She combined his 2 loves into one perfect gift!

David's parents gave him a build and take a part airplane and his very own log book. As you can tell from the blog, Austin loves to fly with his Dingdad so these 2 gifts were very special because he knows his Dingdad spends a lot of time building and taking a part planes and the log book has written down every flight he has ever flown. He was very proud of his log book.

The Spences also got Miller a light switch book. The kid loves light switches so it was perfect.
Two of our friends from Boston (Audra and Stephanie) couldn't make his party but were so sweet to give him a gift so he enjoyed opening those up that morning as well. Audra and Sebastian gave him a clown whistle and paint your own train.

Stephanie and Remi gave him the book, Make Way for Ducklings which is based out of Boston. Such sweet friends.

We gave him the bear, a small airplane, and a bike.

After terrible naps (should have seen that one coming) the boys played outside with daddy while I finished up preparations for the birthday party.

I will do another post of the birthday party. My eyes are getting tired...fun but exhausting weekend.

Happy Birthday Austin

2011-09-25T06:36:00.000-05:00

Dear Austin,

Happy Birthday...today you turn 3 years old! It feels like yesterday that we were driving to the hospital to meet you. Your daddy and I were so excited about seeing you for the first time. You were perfect in every way possible. You had the most beautiful eyes and delicate features. You gave us a little scare by going to the NICU for 7 days but we knew right away that you were a fighter just like your big brother.

Being born in September was part of God's perfect plan. He knew I needed something like your birthday to bring me joy and every year it does. Seeing you light up whenever we talk about your birthday has been so much fun. You want everything for your birthday this year!
We did a plane theme for your going away party so we knew we had to do choo choo for your birthday. Planes and choo choos are definitely your favorite things. You have turned into quite the little talker. Some of my favorite parts of the day are our little conversations. You are inquisitive and curious. You ask questions about everything and constantly want to learn. You remind me of your father in that way.

You are the best big brother. You love Miller with everything you have and are always looking out for him. Since moving to Boston you two have become best friends. You love being together and spend many hours playing and giggling. You get into quite a bit of trouble together but I love seeing you laugh and play.

Your personality is starting to really shine and your passion for life is contagious. I pray every day for your salvation and that there would never be a day that you didn't remember the Lord as your Savior. I pray He uses your life to bring glory and honor to Him. It is often overwhelming knowing He entrusted your daddy and I to raise you to love and serve Him but we pray that we are leading you in that direction.

I am so proud of you little buddy. I am so proud to be your mommy. I love you forever and always...to the moon and back.

Love,
Mommy