The 10th is here. How can 2 years have already passed. I thought I was going to do ok today because there is so much going on with the race that I wasn't sure if I would have time to grieve but now as I sit here in a quiet house (just put Austin down for his morning nap), I am truly sad. I miss him so much sometimes I feel like my heart is being torn in two. It is true that time heals but at the same time, it takes you farther away from the precious moments you had with your child. I sometimes want time to stop because what if I forget something, what if I don't remember something about him. I still remember the way his skin felt when I touched it, the way his little hand grasped my finger, the way his eyes sparkled when he saw his daddy. I am so scared I will forget those things. 2 years...I can't get over it. 2 years ago today I was sitting in a hospital bed waiting to meet my first child. I was so naive. I thought if you made it through the pregnancy with a healthy mom and a healthy child, than it was home free. I would walk out of that hospital 2 days after the 10th with a precious child of God in my arms for me to love, hold, and take care of for life. In a matter of 10 hours how our lives changed forever. Forrest was so beautiful and so perfect. God molded him inside my womb to be perfect. It wasn't the way I wanted him to be but he was perfect in God's sight. God knew that in 55 short days he was going to join Him in Heaven as one of his newest angels. I am so proud of my son, I am so honored to be his mommy.
Happy 2nd Birthday Sweet Forrest. I love and miss you with all my heart. Make sure Jesus holds you real tight today since your mommy can't.
This picture was taken when he was opening his eyes to look at us for the first time, day 32.